Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Randomize
