he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
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