I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Randomize
