grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Randomize
