how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
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