We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
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