I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
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