Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
