no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
