belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
