ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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