you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
Blow job season was short but glorious.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
Randomize
