it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
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