If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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