no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
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