I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
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