just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
Can you bring me the toilet please
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
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