Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
You just made me feel so damn special
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
