Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Randomize
