You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
I love you. Go after that dick
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
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