can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
