On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
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