I need help removing her.
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
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