I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Randomize