If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Randomize
