I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
