What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
the condom got lost in my hair
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
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