Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
