Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
