um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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