He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
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