My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
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