Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
