Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
