She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
