I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
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