Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
I queefed so loud it echoed.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
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