I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
Holy sore nipples Batman
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Randomize
