I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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