Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
