my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
