Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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