Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
