We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
you win again, gameday.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
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