I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Randomize
