Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
