Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
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