whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
Randomize
