i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
