the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
Pińatas plus fireworks don't mix well
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Randomize