just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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