Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
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