ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
I think your dad took our porno
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
Lo siento on account of my penis...
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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