my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Randomize
