but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
God gave him joint rollers for hands
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
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