We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Randomize
