whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
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