from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
