dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Randomize
