Welp...herpes.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
Randomize
