So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
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