the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
