Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
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