farters have to be the big spoon...
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Randomize