No stitches, just platelets and will power
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Randomize
