Heybabeimwearingurpanties
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Randomize
