Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
last night I used snow as a chaser
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