you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
