I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
