yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
He uses pillows to masturbate.
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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