it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
Did I show you my penis last night?
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Randomize
