My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
Randomize
