Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
Randomize
