I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Randomize
