I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
i think my cat just said my name.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
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