8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
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