Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
