I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Randomize
